Over the previous few years, one thought has saved bouncing round in my thoughts: “I should be taking loopy capsules.” Don’t run off to the feedback to complain about this publish getting political, as a result of that’s not the purpose I’m attempting to make. Over the previous few years, longstanding establishments and norms have come crashing down with out a lot as a peep from the individuals charged with defending them. Whether or not you assume that’s good or not, it’s a matter of historic truth.
Subsequently, we stay in disconcerting occasions. COVID, AI, mass media consolidation, man’s inhumanity to man… it messes with one’s sense of order within the universe. We’re quickly approaching an period by which battery tech and solar energy really make electrical energy too low cost to meter, however NATO and the Washington Submit may not exist by the point we get there.
It’s unsettling. There have been occasions after I’ve seemed round and located that essentially the most logical clarification is that I’m, genuinely, being slipped loopy capsules with out my data. As a result of certainly this should make sense to somebody.
Then Joey Wiemer reached base 10 straight occasions to start out the season.
That’s fairly an achievement; Wiemer’s scorching streak tied the document for many consecutive occasions on base to open a season, set by Carlos Delgado in 2002.
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And right here’s the place we run into the loopy capsules drawback. I’ve no drawback accepting a world by which Delgado will get on base 10 occasions in a row. Early-2000s Carlos Delgado was superior. He obtained on base always. The 12 months he had that document on-base streak, he had a .406 OBP. Two years earlier, he’d hit .344/.470/.644, which was heady stuff even in 2000, when muscle tissues have been low cost and pitching as we all know it had not but been invented.
I don’t wish to be unkind to Wiemer, so I’ll simply say he’s not that form of participant. In his one kind-of-full season within the majors, 2023, he hit .204/.283/.362 with a 28.3% strikeout charge. He’s huge, and quick, however he’s additionally gotten handed round from the Brewers to the Reds to the Royals to the Marlins to the Giants, and now to the Nats. All of these groups would’ve held on to him if he have been even a median outfielder.
Suffice it to say this document will get roughly plausible primarily based on who holds it. To the unique level: How lengthy would totally different gamers must go with out making an out earlier than you thought you have been really taking loopy capsules? Not “oh, that’s uncommon” or “wow, that’s fascinating, let me tune in to see if he attracts a stroll within the seventh inning of an 8-1 recreation between two groups I don’t care about.” I’m speaking real climbing-the-walls, spiders-behind-the-eyeballs stuff. Really dropping your grip on actuality.
As a result of that quantity, for me, with Wiemer, is lower than 10.
Wiemer’s first hit was a blast, a 110.5-mph dwelling run effectively into the Wrigley Discipline seats on a day when the wind was pulling down fly balls left and proper. Wiemer’s a giant, sturdy dude; he can do this. His second time up, he walked. That’ll occur too. However each his second and third hits of the day have been Baltimore chops — the form of infield hit that hasn’t been replicable in 120 years.
Regardless of; worse hitters than Wiemer go 3-for-3 with a stroll and a homer on a regular basis. Something can occur over one recreation.
However Wiemer not solely stayed scorching after he slept on it, he needed to sleep on it thrice. Wiemer is the quick finish of a platoon state of affairs that includes a bunch of shifting components; he began Opening Day in opposition to the left-handed Matthew Boyd however sat for Recreation 2 in opposition to the right-handed Cade Horton, then began once more within the closing recreation of the sequence in opposition to the left-handed Shota Imanaga.
Wiemer homered once more in his first at-bat on Sunday, then tripled to the hole, and that is about the place I begin to query actuality: six or seven plate appearances. You’re telling me this mixture of rocket contact and fluky John McGraw small ball stuff is going on usually? To a ballplayer from Washington? At a time in our nation’s historical past the place authorities oversight is proscribed, leaving DARPA free to run all kinds of nefarious cosmic experiments?
Get up, sheeple. Joey Wiemer can’t management his BABIP, however the authorities can.
A phrase of recommendation to the boys in white coats: You would possibly assume {that a} platoon outfielder for a workforce anticipated to complete final is a ripe candidate for some X-Recordsdata motion. Slip him the tremendous soldier shot, or mess along with his quarks till he turns into the luckiest man in baseball, and no one will even discover. Incorrect.
The document for consecutive occasions on base with out recording an out is 17, set by Frank “Piggy” Ward in 1893. Ward went 8-for-8 with eight walks and a hit-by-pitch over a three-game span throughout which he really obtained traded from the Baltimore Orioles to the Cincinnati Reds. That is so way back that, effectively, to begin with, we had ballplayers named Piggy. But additionally, Ward’s Orioles should not solely not the present Baltimore Orioles, they’re not the Baltimore Orioles that performed within the American League for 2 seasons earlier than being changed by the workforce that’s now the New York Yankees. That is three Orioles groups in the past. 5, really, in the event you rely the 2 Worldwide League groups that performed within the metropolis within the first half of the twentieth century and employed, at one time or one other, Babe Ruth, Lefty Grove, and House Run Baker.
The trendy document for consecutive occasions on base is 16, set by Ted Williams in 1957. Barry Bonds, Frank Thomas, and John Olerud all obtained to fifteen across the flip of the century. And also you’d anticipate that — these are 4 all-time nice on-base guys. Williams is actually the all-time main league chief in OBP, and Bonds is fourth amongst AL/NL gamers since 1901.
I feel a participant like that might get loads additional than 16 plate appearances earlier than that streak made nationwide headline information, not to mention touched off hypothesis in regards to the affect of nefarious exterior forces. Whereas I used to be on to DARPA a recreation and a half into Wiemer’s streak, I feel they may stretch issues out fairly a bit in the event that they picked the fitting participant to mess with. Listed below are some options:
The Longest On-Base Streak Numerous Gamers May Obtain Earlier than I Started to Suspect the Intervention of Area Aliens, a Supernatural Being, or a Shadowy Authorities Company
Ramos is my stand-in for an nameless common participant. He was unhealthy in 2025, however for the 2 years earlier than that, he had a wholesome batting line. If he obtained into double digits, I’d assume it was odd, however I wouldn’t suspect something really weird till he troubled the all-time document.
Refsnyder is a relative unknown exterior of baseball sicko circles, however he’s a killer platoon man. If a wise supervisor discovered the fitting matchups for him, he might go fairly a methods with out making an out. In final 12 months’s playoffs, Alex Name obtained by way of two entire rounds with out making an out, and no one batted an eye fixed. Refsnyder might go thrice that far within the common season earlier than I felt the urge to name Ghostbusters.
After that, we’re into the realm of how lengthy you might belief a terrific participant. McGonigle reached base 4 occasions in his very first huge league recreation. If he’d prolong that streak to twenty, it might’ve been an enormous story — however solely within the sports activities pages. Bichette (or Trea Turner or Jacob Wilson or no matter bat management sicko you wish to use, if Bichette’s present hunch scares you off) might hit-‘em-where-they-ain’t for one more recreation or so with out elevating suspicion.
Kurtz had a 14-game hit streak as a rookie by which he hit .527/.581/1.236. He famously went 6-for-6 with 4 dwelling runs in a type of video games; a stroll in his first plate look the subsequent recreation really ran his on-base streak to seven. Kurtz went 3-for-5 within the recreation earlier than his profession night time, and 2-for-4 with a stroll the day after. I feel a 30-plate look on-base streak might be defined by pure phenomena. Or a streak of 40 plate appearances for Decide, who’s the identical worth proposition as Kurtz, solely extra so.
However Ohtani might go weeks with out making an out, and I’d be like, “Positive, no matter.” I used to be on board with him being elite on either side of the ball; the identical freak athleticism that enables him to throw 100 mph certainly has some advantages relating to hitting the ball as effectively.
That mentioned, his first season with the Dodgers broke me. Ohtani didn’t pitch that 12 months, and he simply up and determined to steer the Nationwide League in dwelling runs whereas additionally stealing 59 bases in 63 makes an attempt, regardless of by no means displaying something like that aptitude beforehand. Ohtani has all the time been quick, certain, however he had not, to that time, even been an above-average basestealer by way of success charge.
After that, I noticed the foundations don’t apply to Ohtani anymore. He can do no matter he desires, and it’s simply a part of the sport now. Or possibly whoever’s been futzing with Wiemer’s bat over the previous few days really obtained to Ohtani first. Wow, this conspiracy goes all the way in which to the highest!